I’ve never really felt like I fit in to the “image” the people around me wanted to view me as. I’ve always been a little different, and had out of the box thoughts. And at this point in my life I embrace it with everything I have in me.
This past year has been more than everything I could have ever asked for. It’s been a huge struggle with losing the people I thought really accepted me, overcoming anxiety and depression, and being so scared to just be alone. It’s amazing to see the ways I’ve grown from these experiences. Just last year I wouldn’t even go into a Wal-Mart by myself, but now I carry the confidence to walk into a music festival all alone.
It hit me hard with each friendship I lost because that was one more person who I just knew didn’t understand me or things I was feeling. I trusted that those were the people who did appreciate me, and the person I was. I thought they were the people I was actually good enough for. That wasn’t the case though. I needed to stop and appreciate myself, and just realize those people were not apart of my path and my journey.
I’m still not sure what’s meant for my life journey, but I do know I’m looking at it as something great. It will be the greatest adventure I can experience. In the words of Bilbo Baggins, “I’m going on an adventure!”. I think that’s what has helped my anxiety is just letting go of the things I know I can’t control. I can’t control other people, and if they want to feel apart of my life or not. I can’t control when or where I’ll meet an obstacle, but I can control how I handle it. With that comes a bigger appreciation of the daily or life struggle. It shows me something so much greater, and brings out the inner strength I think I’ve searched to find deep inside me for years.
I know that some people, such as my family, still don’t see where some of my views or thoughts come from. Honestly, I’m truly considered the black sheep of my family, and that’s usually not what people aim for. In my mind though, I believe it’s something great if you can help open up the eye’s of others to seeing something different. All in a positive way of course. I’ve never really understood how people wanted to dress, act, or even think like a group of people. I tried to fit in for years using that method, and all it left me feeling was uncomfortable and more lost than I could ever imagine. Maybe that’s what makes other people’s world go round, but it just stopped mine completely.
It’s sad to see that so many people are just scared as an individual so much that it brings them down to a level of sadness where they could want to end everything. I knew before I ever got to that point something HAD to change. The whole world has different cultures of music, language, attire, and beliefs. You would think by now the world would be more accepting, but sadly history has taught us nothing. No one is on this earth because they wanted thrown into this chaos. It’s just what’s been chosen as their destiny. They have a purpose, and a reason. Sadly, their journey’s shortened because of others who don’t want to accept that.
Let’s change that. Love yourself, and love others for who they are.