The weather tonight.
It takes me back to one of our many, wonderful nights together.
I’m in a superhero t-shirt, yoga pants, or those red shorts that drove you crazy. You’re wearing basketball shorts and some printed tee.
I would leave work earlier that night texting you that I was on my way, and probably ask if I could shower. Even though I’m terrible at parallel parking, I’d pull into your place praying for an open parking spot, knowing it would get me to you sooner. I would text you, “I’m here!!” and grab three of four bags out of my car. I can almost taste you.
No matter how many times I met you at that gate, the excitement of seeing you never waned.
We had our little routine.
You’d grab one of my bags, I would scurry in to put my stuff down and shower.
Now, porch time.
You knew I had to sit, so you always had your blue chair ready for me. We would talk about anything and everything.
These were the moments I wish I could freeze because they’re too good to end.
You always made a point to talk about things that meant something to me. I never once questioned if you were truly listening.
That’s rare to find in a person. Never change in that aspect.
Then it was time for one of our usual shows.
Mainly, Californication, Bill Maher, John Oliver, Family Guy, American Dad, Hard Knocks, some documentary, or my favorite – Star Trek Next Generation.
Though there was a time I convinced you to watch The Tudors. I really appreciated that.
Without a word, you could read my emotions. You always knew what I needed.
We would lay in bed watching our shows, or bring the TV to the living room to eat.
I still laugh thinking about you pausing the TV if I picked up my phone during one of our shows, and waiting until I put it down.
We would get a few good kisses in, then you’d suggest a smoke break. We would smoke a cigarette, then back to our shows while you ate your gummies.
Finally. My favorite time with you.
We’d get up to smoke one last cigarette, brush our teeth, then off to bed.
THE SEX WAS INCREDIBLE.
The way we fit together, the sexual rhythm and connection was mind-blowing. We felt it the first night together. It was real. It was special.
To this day, it scares me that noone will ever live up to those standards that you’ve unknowingly set so high.
It scares me that I’ve lost the desire to even “get back on the bike.”
Maybe I’m just waiting to recover a little more emotionally.
After the sex, we’d get in our little position so I could give you my magical back rub. This was my favorite moment with you.
I always made sure to do my best, no slacking. You just seemed so relaxed. I loved that I could make you feel goosebumps down your arms, back, and side. I was getting all of my favorite things at once. It was my way of thanking you for all that you did for me, for just being there, and being the person that you are, and accepting the person that I am. We just fit.
I hope you could see how much I appreciate what you gave to me.
I could’ve laid in that bed with you for hours just rubbing your back. Then, I’d work my way up to your neck, around your ears, and into your hair.
I find it hard to think about ever doing that for someone else. I cherish those moments with you.
You’re one of those extraordinary gifts life presents you with. I’ve grown in so many amazing ways because of you and my feelings for you.
I’ve learned to always appreciate the moment.
You brought the music back into my life, and helped save me from the negative energy and mindset I once had.
It’s so nice to see you walk past my desk again. Mainly, so I can just check out your ass.
I was almost to the point of just giving up hope, but I wouldn’t let myself surrender to that thought. I’d regret it if I did. Just being your friend gives me comfort, even if it’s nothing more. You brought me the peace of the moon, and I’m forever grateful for that.
I’ve sat through plenty of meteor showers, but the perseids on the 13th, I saw the most unreal meteor shoot across the sky]. It gave me chills. I made a wish that one day we would get to the point that we could go get a drink and just catch up. Nothing more, nothing serious. Just sit and talk about life and our current passions.
I continue living life, laughing, and enjoying the moments.
But I’ll always be here.
Plus, I do miss your funny nerdiness.
P.S. Hard Knocks is so fucking great with the Texans. I must say, Texas pride is kind of a turn on. haha 🙂